oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
