can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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