my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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