Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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