Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize