You can't special order awesome
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
