talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
