I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
