im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Drunk is not a location!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
