So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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