thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
