I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
