I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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