Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
