woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
