I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
