I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
