I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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