Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i think i just lost a toe
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I wear drunk well.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
