matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Can I color on your dick again?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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