Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize