lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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