So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
