Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
