You don't have asthma, your pregnant
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize