I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize