i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
