There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
