so explain again why im purple
no
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
