To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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