So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
