i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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