i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
