We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
