i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
