Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
