I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
