i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
