When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
