I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
