Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
