Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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