I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
