I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
