HIV tests are more positive than that guy
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
