i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
