Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
But we have bathrooms and they dont
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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