Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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