I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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