Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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