WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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