dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
