her vagine was all disorganized.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize