No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
