How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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