Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
