and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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