He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
