He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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