i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
