And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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