please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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