Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
