Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
