Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
