We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize